Gone Native: Long-Term Living Abroad
By Patricia Keener, UK Career Advisor
Expats find
themselves continually being asked: “When are you moving back?”
While many will be able to answer the question easily, for others
the situation is not so clear. For a variety of reasons, some expats
will find themselves resettled for the long-term. Even when they do
leave their host country, they may not be headed “home”.
How are the challenges of a life abroad different from those of a two-
to four-year expatriate assignment? How do the opinions of “lifers” differ
from the views of more temporary expats? Finding long-term expats to
answer these questions can be hard. Not because they don’t exist, but
because they aren’t always actively involved with traditional expat social
groups or services. They have “gone native,” generally living a local
lifestyle.
In this article, long-term expats share some insight into the
particular motives, challenges and rewards of their life-style. The
following questions were addressed to people of varying
nationalities–American, French, Belgian, Italian, Dutch, and British–all
but two of whom are located in the UK. All have lived outside their native
countries for five or more years; the longest for 28 years, and the
average eight years.
What keeps them abroad?
“My spouse” was the most common response, either because the spouse is
a native of the host country or because of the spouse’s work. Other issues
that factored into making this decision were the expats’ own job
opportunities, having children in school, and enjoying an international
lifestyle.
Making the decision to live permanently overseas has advantages and
disadvantages. For all the cultural challenges that you have to overcome
and the feelings of guilt for not “being there” at certain times, you have
an opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, see the world
from a different perspective, and come to appreciate the best (and worst)
of both cultures. By blending both what is important for you from your
home culture and what draws you to your adopted culture, you can create a
life that fits you perfectly.
After all this time, what did they find to be most challenging about
living in a different country?
For some, the focus was on daily living issues: lack of convenience,
inefficiency, high cost of living, and the weather. Others brought up
cultural differences: the old-fashioned way of doing things and the lack
of creative thinking to solve problems. Some expats mentioned the
organization of the school system, planning their children’s educations,
and pursuing their own careers as challenges. Finally, emotional
differences were highlighted: difficulty making friends, feeling isolated,
leaving close friends behind, and experiencing an underlying prejudice
towards foreigners, especially Americans.
On a short-term assignment, people may justify putting up with the
disadvantages and difficulties for a few years. Making the choice to stay
for the long-term means making peace with those disadvantages and
difficulties. Over time, people living abroad gradually become more aware
of their reactions to the differences and develop appropriate responses.
The longer you are abroad, the more opportunities you have to work through
cultural adaptation. This helps you to eventually become what Robert Kohls
calls truly bi-cultural–comfortable living and functioning in two
different cultures.
How do they keep a connection with their home culture?
Many of the expats expressed the need to stay connected or to reconnect
with old friends who live in their home country in order to keep a sense
of what is happening there and what life is like there. E-mail and lower
telephone costs have helped tremendously in closing the distance gap
between family and friends.
A key difference between short-term and long-term expatriates is the
kind of support groups they seek out. Many participants said they belonged
to or received literature from expatriate social groups or support groups
but don’t necessarily participate in them anymore. Making friends with
other expats can be quite difficult, as the short-term expats leave too
soon to develop deep relationships. Long-term expats may find the social
support they need through finding groups made up of international people:
groups exist for networking, job-hunting, entrepreneurs, professional
women, and more.
About Patricia Keener
Patricia Keener is a consultant and coach specializing in
cross-cultural adaptation and communication skills. Patricia’s career
advisor services include cross-cultural adaptation training and one-on-one
coaching, career coaching, presentation skills for networking, and
effective presentation skills training. She can be reached by email at:
patricia@keenerinspiration.com
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